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BattleChimp's Profile

345
Rank: Moderator

Categories: 0
Sites: 6
Reviews: 21
Watchers: 0
Referrals: 0

Career Record

Comprehensive   11
Helpful   13
Funny   15
Unhelpful   0
Innaccurate   0
Bio: n/a

Location: n/a
Member Since: Jun 22nd, 2014
Last Online: Jun 23rd, 2014
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Wimp

Wimp

http://www.wimp.com

Video Streaming , Link Sharing
A good place to go if you want to be the first of your friends to see the newest and hottest videos. Well, as long as those friends aren't die-hard redditors.

Not the best looking site, but the functionality more than makes up for it. I mean, let's be honest. You're going there to watch cool new videos and kill some time.
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Kickstarter

Kickstarter

http://www.kickstarter.com

Crowdfunding , Entertainment
If you've got a few spare bucks of disposable hanging out in your bank account and a desire to help a start-up? Then Kickstarter is the place for you.

With all of the creative minds out there trying to find a way to fund their projects, this site will lead you to literally anything you can think of. Whether you're looking to help an artist raise money for an art installation, donate a few dollars to a non-profit organization, or lend a hand to a team of developers making the next big thing in the world of indie video games, it's all there.

As an added bonus, the more you donate, the better you're rewarded for your help with their incentives, which are located on the side of the screen. Because, let's be honest, who doesn't want a little extra swag while helping someone else out?

So go find it in your heart to hear some of the pitches on the site. From my experience, I've come away from donating feeling like I'm helping independent businesses instead of big chains, and felt damned good doing it.
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Thug Kitchen

Thug Kitchen

http://www.thugkitchen.com

Cooking , Comedy
Cook like a champion, eat like a god.

It's not that hard. This site makes it easy and funny. And it will make you feel stupid because you thought you couldn't do it before.

So what are you waiting for. Get to it, lazy ass.
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comiXology

comiXology

http://www.comixology.com

Shopping , Comics
Brilliant website for buying online comics. An alternative to buying print, which is nice if you don't have the storage or patience for the physical comics. Also, when you're not reading something, it's stored in the cloud so that it doesn't unnecessarily take up memory on your computer.

Another helpful hint: Just use the website. The app is absolute garbage.
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Time Warner

Time Warner

http://www.timewarner.com

Official , Film & Television
Go on a journey with me.

Imagine you live in a world where you want for nothing. Love is abundant, money does not exist, and, therefore, is joyfully meaningless. The world reacts to your every desire as long as you wish it into existence. The perfect utopia is yours, and you benevolently watch over it with the dearest affection.

And then, one day, without you even knowing, a shadow creeps into your perfect glen. At first, it is barely noticeable, as if it only exists in the corner of your eye, and when you try to look directly at it, it vanishes without a trace. Soon, you begin to find small flakes of ash floating in the shadow-thing's wake. It is bigger now, and it brings with it a distinctive air of unease. The unease grows steadily, just as the shadow creature does, into a heavy and oppressive dismay, and then into a cold, shuddering fear.

The shadow creature becomes more bold, and the ash now comes in piles, followed by trails of black tar and decay. It comes closer and closer to you each day until, soon, it stands at your side, spewing poisonous thoughts into your ears. The perfect utopia you created out of love begins to degrade as it becomes more difficult to push out the bile being constantly bombarded into your mind by the shadow beast.

Your attempts to rid the world of the beast is all in vain, as every time you attempt to separate it from your paradise only brings more of its inky ugliness into form. It gains strength from your failed attempts, and as you begin to hate the beast, it only causes it to grow in power.

Now, to be around the monster is painfully woeful. You can't remember the last time your cheeks were dry of tears or when your fists weren't clutched so tightly in anger that it caused a steady throbbing pain to shoot up your arms and sink red hot claws into your mind. The sound of your constantly grinding teeth are completely drowned out by the din of heckling laughter and snapping wind.

The monster now has a monopoly on your soul, and as the sun is blocked out by pitch black clouds, you realize you will never see the sun again. You sit on your ruined world of tar and ash, close your eyes, and try to remember a time without the sickness of the beast.

You can't.

Time Warner is Eternal.

Time Warner is pain.

Time Warner is a monster.
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Funny or Die

Funny or Die

http://www.funnyordie.com

Webseries , Comedy
No reviews?

Guess no one thought it was funny...
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Bellashoot

Bellashoot

http://bellashoot.com

Social Networks , Beauty
Bros and lady-bros.

This site. This. Site.

I am so god damned beautiful now.

I was hesitant to go here at first. I mean, what would a site like this provide for a guy like me? Will I be looked down upon for wanting the perfectly contoured cheekbones, or eyebrows that rival those of Adonis?

How wrong I was. Now, I got dem cheekbones poppin'. Eyebrows? More like Eye-wows. My skin glistens with the glory of the sun. Other bros be lookin' at me like, "Yo, are you wearing make-up? What the hell?"

And I'm all, "Shut up, fool." And then I make out with their girlfriends.

10/10 would preen again.
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ThinkGeek

ThinkGeek

http://www.thinkgeek.com

Shopping , Geek
Shut up and take my money.
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The Onion

The Onion

http://www.theonion.com

Comedy , News
The greatest news troll website on the internet.

Tired of someone blathering on unintelligibly about the way things work in the world? Direct them to an article of your choosing and watch them foam at the mouth. Conservative or liberal, The Onion has enough satirical ammo to satisfy your needs.

Always entertaining and sharp as a tack, The Onion would have make Mark Twain proud.
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PadMapper

PadMapper

http://www.padmapper.com

Search Engines , Housing
A great resource when you're looking to get some new digs. I used it to find my current place and this site made the process about five-hundred times easier.

The one thing you'll need to be wary about is that a lot of apartment complexes and companies are kind of shitty about updating the entries. There were more than a few times that I called up a place for rent only to find out that it had already been filled. This isn't PadMapper's fault at all, keep in mind, but since it aggregates from many different sources, it's just something to look out for.
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