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Best of "Funny" Reviews

Below is a list of all the reviews, taken from across the entire FlitterWeb database, with the highest "Funny" rating as defined by the community.

Functionality
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Ease-Of-Use
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Steam

Steam

http://www.steampowered.com

Gaming , Services
LupisLupine

LupisLupine

511

Functionality
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Ease-Of-Use
Service/Support
I just went ahead and changed my direct deposit to the IP address and got it over with.
Functionality
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Ease-Of-Use
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OkCupid

OkCupid

http://www.okcupid.com

Dating , Social Networks
LoveHorses235

LoveHorses235

179

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I signed up for OK Cupid for the same reason anyone does. Having sex with strangers.

It went well for a while, would go out for dinner and make trite conversation, maybe get a little over the pants action. I was happy with that.

And then a year ago I got a message. We had no mutual friends. Awesome. They seemed hot and kind of dumb. Also awesome.

Fast forward to now. We've been together a year and are madly in love. I've never felt like this about anyone, and could not be happier. You failed me, OK Cupid.
Functionality
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Cosmopolitan

Cosmopolitan

http://www.cosmopolitan.com

Women , Literature
LoveHorses235

LoveHorses235

179

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If I could rate this zero stars, I would.

I was planning a special night with my man, and thought, "why not change things up?"

I picked up a cosmo at my local newsstand, and took it home, poured a glass of wine, and started taking notes on how to "Spice things up in the bedroom"

Turns out, popping a handful of pop rocks in your mouth before going downtown on your man is not only extremely painful for both parties, but can cause a very violent reaction that landed us in the ER at 2 am.

They declined to pay our medical bills.
Functionality
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LinkedIn

LinkedIn

http://www.linkedin.com

Career , Social Networks
snakeyb44

snakeyb44

177

Functionality
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I've seriously never even come close to getting a job from this site.

Do I blame that solely on my extreme un-hirability? No. That's not my fault, that's society's.

The only reason I'm even on there is because I don't want people to know I'm not working, so I kinda just fudge the finer details...mine says I'm CEO of Google. And I changed my name to "Steven Google" to make it way more believable.

I also don't like that people can see when I look at their pages because that totally defeats the purpose of social media.

In conclusion: only people who shouldn't be hired use this site. Get a job, hippy.
Functionality
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OkCupid

OkCupid

http://www.okcupid.com

Dating , Social Networks
snakeyb44

snakeyb44

177

Functionality
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My big problem with this site is that people don't seem to "get" me.

Let's get down to brass tacks, here. I'm the kinda guy who digs moon bounces and taking selfies with my tarantula. His name is Mister Spikey and if you have a problem with that, you can go fuck yourself.

I'm sorry for the "mommy/daddy" language, but if you don't have any appreciation for someone one can keep track of a carnivorous arachnid without a tank, then there's a reason you're single.

My mom is right. I'm better than you. Go back to Oklahoma.
Functionality
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Time Warner

Time Warner

http://www.timewarner.com

Corporate , Film & Television
BattleChimp

BattleChimp

337

Functionality
Aesthetics
Ease-Of-Use
Service/Support
Go on a journey with me.

Imagine you live in a world where you want for nothing. Love is abundant, money does not exist, and, therefore, is joyfully meaningless. The world reacts to your every desire as long as you wish it into existence. The perfect utopia is yours, and you benevolently watch over it with the dearest affection.

And then, one day, without you even knowing, a shadow creeps into your perfect glen. At first, it is barely noticeable, as if it only exists in the corner of your eye, and when you try to look directly at it, it vanishes without a trace. Soon, you begin to find small flakes of ash floating in the shadow-thing's wake. It is bigger now, and it brings with it a distinctive air of unease. The unease grows steadily, just as the shadow creature does, into a heavy and oppressive dismay, and then into a cold, shuddering fear.

The shadow creature becomes more bold, and the ash now comes in piles, followed by trails of black tar and decay. It comes closer and closer to you each day until, soon, it stands at your side, spewing poisonous thoughts into your ears. The perfect utopia you created out of love begins to degrade as it becomes more difficult to push out the bile being constantly bombarded into your mind by the shadow beast.

Your attempts to rid the world of the beast is all in vain, as every time you attempt to separate it from your paradise only brings more of its inky ugliness into form. It gains strength from your failed attempts, and as you begin to hate the beast, it only causes it to grow in power.

Now, to be around the monster is painfully woeful. You can't remember the last time your cheeks were dry of tears or when your fists weren't clutched so tightly in anger that it caused a steady throbbing pain to shoot up your arms and sink red hot claws into your mind. The sound of your constantly grinding teeth are completely drowned out by the din of heckling laughter and snapping wind.

The monster now has a monopoly on your soul, and as the sun is blocked out by pitch black clouds, you realize you will never see the sun again. You sit on your ruined world of tar and ash, close your eyes, and try to remember a time without the sickness of the beast.

You can't.

Time Warner is Eternal.

Time Warner is pain.

Time Warner is a monster.
Functionality
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GrubHub

GrubHub

http://www.grubhub.com

Food , Shopping
snakeyb44

snakeyb44

177

Functionality
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Here's the thing.

Like a lot of people, I don't like...yknow...getting up and doing stuff. Especially if that stuff can be brought to me by strangers that I don't have to force conversation with. Because people are bad, and conversations with them are just worse.

So if I can get on my iPhone (or those other dumb phones people have) and order food to be brought to me from several different outlets, that's just a better option. And then I just write "don't look me in the eye" when the guy brings me the food, and I don't even have to worry about whether or not he has change for a twenty and like accidentally give me Canadian quarters like that one dude from Domino's, so it's pretty great.

Those things are literally worthless here.

That guy was an ass.

Definitely use this because lazy.
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BuzzFeed

BuzzFeed

http://buzzfeed.com

News , Entertainment
LoveHorses235

LoveHorses235

179

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Ease-Of-Use
Service/Support
Bored of the internet? You've come to the right place. Literally thousands of lists and viral videos to waste time that could be spent doing something productive. Extremely useful for procrastination. At a bar and need to pretend like you're doing something productive on your phone to avoid social interaction? Download the app!!
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Bellashoot

Bellashoot

http://bellashoot.com

Social Networks , Beauty
BattleChimp

BattleChimp

337

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Ease-Of-Use
Service/Support
Bros and lady-bros.

This site. This. Site.

I am so god damned beautiful now.

I was hesitant to go here at first. I mean, what would a site like this provide for a guy like me? Will I be looked down upon for wanting the perfectly contoured cheekbones, or eyebrows that rival those of Adonis?

How wrong I was. Now, I got dem cheekbones poppin'. Eyebrows? More like Eye-wows. My skin glistens with the glory of the sun. Other bros be lookin' at me like, "Yo, are you wearing make-up? What the hell?"

And I'm all, "Shut up, fool." And then I make out with their girlfriends.

10/10 would preen again.
Functionality
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ABCmouse

ABCmouse

http://www.abcmouse.com

Education , Gaming
LoveHorses235

LoveHorses235

179

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So I work as a nanny. I love my job, I make my living playing with a wonderful 2 year old girl all day. I could not have asked for a better occupation. We found ABCmouse.com about a 3 months ago. This website makes it so easy for younger children to learn, and she's come so far in that short time.

That being said, this little girl will not shut up now. Everything statement is proceeded by "but why?!" Children are our future, whatever, but I just want some fucking peace and quiet to drink my coffee without that little fucker in my ear asking why Princess Elsa can't make it warmer. I don't fucking know. I'm not a doctor. Fuck you ABC mouse.
12...10

Featured Review

Papa John's

Papa John's

by Cheryl J.

I am a Papa John's regular customer and the site is so easy to use and my pizza is always good! I have had pizzas delivered to several different addresses and the way the site is set up is so easy to place orders we eat too much pizza! I love the points- have gotten a couple of free pizzas!
See more...

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trivago

trivago

by Tile Tamp

Nothing special at all, Trip Advisor is more useful


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